This is my panic

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 02:28:03 GMT

i think i offically realized why im alone...what do i do to fix it

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 02:39:09 GMT

well i havent posted on here in about two years and was just reading all the stupid things i wrote in the past. some made me smile some made me want to cry...i miss a lot of things but kinda glad i grew up at the same time. they will always be great memories with little regrets mixed in. i really miss hanging out with my friends but i guess that happens when you grow up... you weed out some and hang on to those true and dear.

i finding this very comforting to write in here i guess i forgot why i used to do it so much its not really the fact of other ppl reading cuz im sure ppl dont i think i going to start doing this more often.

ps my last entry really was about you angela! i dont really remember why tho lol

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 22:02:40 GMT

gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck you!
go to hell!
i want to leave this place and not come back!

gay

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 03:06:50 GMT

well summer has started...

feels like everything wants to pick up where it left off but everything is different idk how to explain

ps im officially a loser

and im on a secret mission

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 20:03:07 GMT

so shit has been fun lately and i dont want to get too excited about it getting fun cuz i know once i do its goning to go down hill like it always does yeah thats it...its good to have friends and people to hang out with. cept for when they steal you beer and drink half you case you didnt know was open yet...thnx justin ps thnx for hitting me in the head like 100 times last night.

love you

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 17:06:19 GMT

the weather has increased my mood tremendously and i kinda love my life right now i dont know y i just do...yay im excited for the wedding and the bachelorette party.

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 15:08:16 GMT

so its already fucking february...how ridiculous is that and i realized that i never really made an ode to 2006. All i really want to say is that i realized how really no one is cool. You grow up and think omg that person is sooo cool and how you could never be friends with them. Everybody in this world is just as big of a loser as i am. i have met and made friends with i never thought i would being myself and not caring wat other ppl thought of me...yay for being lame!

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 20:40:55 GMT

the high from everyone being back is kinda gone and so is the having something to do everynight. which really isnt such i bad thing i guess considering i have has this cold forever and i can finally get some rest. i jsut hope this doesnt get to be a regular.

well anyways my xmas party was really really fun the for the salon that is. i feel apart of them now like b4 i just liked my job and kinda jsut sat there but now i feel like they really do like me. they snuck me into some bar downtown it was exciting. then i went to show i hate scene kids to the max you know the usual

thats pretty much my life in a nut shell oh and marty gave me some good advice i feel much better about some things.

im content

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 23:33:14 GMT

i feel like ive been drunk for like 5 days straight.

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 02:06:18 GMT

cute weekend with cute times...

friday night i went to damiens and hung out then we met up with a bunch of ppl and went to the hooka bar. after we both had a tummy ache and went back to his house and he made me a big bowl or peanut butter crunch and derek and mario came over. on the way home i almost crashed my car into a wall well not really but i did alost fall asleep like 4 times
yesterday i went and saw the movie the holiday it was soooooooo gooooood i cried but not cuz it was sad it was jsut sooooo cute i couldnt handle life. i also laughed soooo hard the i almost threw up. then we met up with nate and dielen and came to my sisters to hang out.
today i worked it was the lamest thing of my life...seriously. marty was my secret sante he got me a drinking game called pass out im excited to play!
im really bored right now and excited for X-mas tomorrow and i wish i had someone to talk to right now and hang out with. thats all.

p.s. seriously who does he think he is.

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 14:23:31 GMT

so last night just makes me smile so much i jsut want to slap myself. nate is home and it makes happy getting to hang out with him i dont htink i stopped laughing one time last night seriously...cept for the time dielen threw the penny at my head wat a little bitch oh and for some of the awkward moments where i would jsut stare at the tv until they passed over. but boys are sooo dumb and funny i dont think i have ever saw soo much punching of the balls. hahhahahhaha. tonight im hanging out with damien i got a cute text last night it makes me sad that i ahve to work. boo.

i woke up too early but its ok its nice to have time and chill before i have to go to work.

X-mas break is going to the best ever noooo dounbt about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<3333333333333333

im 19

Sun, 10 Dec 2006 19:12:22 GMT

i have a grin on my face thats not gonna come off for a while

last night made my life all the awkwardness is gone and i can live my life trying to avoid him. so many ppl came and i bonded with ppl i never thought i would even talk to, but thats been happening a lot lately i guess. i got the perfect amount of wasted, and a cop story to tell without having a ticket to show! life is good. cept for boys who cry and say they are going to walk home...boo. it was funny seeing ppl asses out all over the house this morning, srry to ppl who did not have blankets*cough*val had them all*cough* lol i still love you though.

yay birthdays

ololololol sammy hid under the fouton hahahhahhaha

Im excited for this weekend but not for school tomorrow

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 20:29:58 GMT

i skipped school again last week so im at the library at wctc i just finished doing my outlines and such for school. amanda is next to me looking up bango kaszoie cheats lol wat a loser. im really excited for this weekend to the max. there is going to be a lot of ppl there hopefully. the boy who just sat down in front of me has a really ugly jacket on but it looks warm i guess

on another note there is definetly going to be a dinner party amanda is hosting it this year. it should be FUNN. her mom is really excited so you know its going to be fancy!! its going to be on the 27th i think at 7:30. dress to impress or dont show.

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 17:47:22 GMT

i loved this weekend everysingle moment of it even if we didnt get to go bowling i loved it. i was ok with everyone and i just got a taste of what things used to be like and now its all gone but it makes winter break that much more to look forward to. i love everyone. and i love bonfires. and i love going to parties with no one knowing you and trying to ride bulls eventhought "bulls only live in mexico" and making new friends and getting straned at walgreens with a flat tire from having 12 ppl in the back of a mini van, i love going to george webbs at 130 in hte morning and watching erik bitch cuz he cant smoke in there anymore. yes everymoment of it!

<3 cant wait till everyone is back again

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 21:45:57 GMT

soooooooo im really fucking bored like whoa...im at work by myself unitl 5 and it can suck a nut. this weekend was eventfull fucking ghetto ppl i wish she woulda tried to hit me i wouldve taked that bitch down. hahahhaha it was fun. got to know some ppl better. i dont hate erik anymore we are tight. oooh oooh i also have a nick name im soooo excited ive never had one that ppl really stick too cept for jax but only dan calls me that. ummmm one hightlight of friday night beside telling off the ghetto bitch is seeing andy climb up the cat tower thingy hahhahahha soooo funny. yesterday me and ang went to go visit austin and its nice to know there are still cute boys out there he paid for our food and our jamba juice. wat a gentleman.

ps i jsut had a customer get ice creame and then i decided to make myself a malt and i was pushing the stuff down on the side of the cup and got the spoon caught in the blade and there are chunks of plastic spoon in my mall im sooooo dumb

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 06:24:19 GMT

so ironicaly my horoscopes are always fucking dead on serously its fucking weird but it always ends up that i try to do what it says and i always get fucked over so i decided not to listen to them anymore even though it would probably work out if my name wasnt jackie zickuhr. maria is here and i was really excited cuz i guess things would get really exciting not that i wasnt excited to see her but it was just another boring day round milwaukee...idk.

im proud that i completed all of my steps.

i want ass

my sister is sooooooo drunk i have never seen her taht drunk in my life she is upstairs throwing up in a bucket grossi jossi

thats all

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 16:09:17 GMT

sooo last night was the first step of letting go and moving on
today is step 2 and 3 and 4

im on a roll...im really sad a lot more than i thought i would be

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 04:30:54 GMT

horoscope 3:

go after your goals and dont be surprised by who helps you and who doesnt

people are bitches

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 22:21:02 GMT

i would also like to say that i saw ericas mom and david yesterday and they pretty much make my life!!!

and today i talked to nick a for like a half hour cuz i decided that i hadnt talked to him in a long time and i wanted to sooo i called him...weird

today the cute boy in my class sat with me and amanda at break time he is super nice and cool

yay for thursday i have the day off and me and valerie are hanging out!

thats all

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 16:55:22 GMT

last night was really really fun it didnt turn out like i hoped but it was still fun. i totally failed at beer pong to the max still cant throw for the life of me but i owned at flip cup agian. it makes me happy that i have been hanging out with thomas agian that kid makes me laugh sooo much and im excited to hang out with justin next weekend and maria and mike are coming back i have sooo much to look forward to im not gonna let a stupid boy bring me down.

i bonded with dan last night like we talk but we dont actaully talk like we are friends and i actually feel like i am really friends with him and his friends after 4 years of hanging out with them you think it would happen. we were talking about how i was 14 when i started hanging out with them and how they were pedifiles cuz they all tried to get in my pants...the good old days.

yay for life and me choking greg last night and almost killing myself with a tape mesure!!!!!!!!

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 14:25:56 GMT

horoscope day 2:
take care of business so you can get on with doing the things you enjoy the most

these bitches are haunting me everyday i swear.

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 05:08:58 GMT

horoscope:
stop hiding out and face what needs to be addressed.........

oh snap

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 02:42:51 GMT

sooo i think im officailly gonna go cry

goodnight

Mon, 04 Sep 2006 16:02:42 GMT

soooooooooooooooooooooo many cute things i dont even know wat to do with them. im such a giddy little bitch right now i cant stop.

beer pong and flip cup are pretty much the shit. i owned.

love life

[Edit:]I miss my drinking partner

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 18:48:27 GMT

wow so there is like 6 of us left icluding me angela val amanda nate and dielen of the summer group and soon to be 5 when nate leaves. its sad but i really like working at hte salon and its taking up most of my time which is good. even though everyone is gone i still have been a really good mood lately idky. i really want to go the zoo b4 the summer is up today would have been good but idk. we were supposed to go to Eu Clair to visit maria and krista but thats doubtful. its only been a week and i already miss those bitches. ummmmmm. ive desided i want to have a halloween dance party. but ill have it late like in november when ppl are back and dan is gone hunting so he cant get mad. lol. yay im excited for fall i love it sooo much i love the crispness and the hair that doesnt get frizzy and apple cider mmmmmmmmm.

im happy for me and val. cute times, cute times